What the heck do I need in my Hospital Bag?

I have decided to pack a bag properly for the hospital. I started to do this as I progressed in pregnancy, but as with most things in my life, I lose interest quickly, so it is currently full of lots of things but I'm not sure how useful.

A quick search on Google for hospital bag returns a staggering 46,400,000 results! Wow!

Most of the pregnancy sites have a (downloadable) checklist for what to take.

Aptamil

Asda Baby & Toddler Club

Baby Centre

Baby World 

BBC

Boots

Bounty

Cow And Gate

Emma's Diary

Everyday Maternity

Good To Know

HiPP Baby Club 

Huggies Club

Mumsnet

Netmums

NHS

Pampers Village

Sainsbury's Little Ones

Seraphine

SMA

The Baby Registry

Which?

Ok, at this point, I have three options:

1) Print of all the checklists and cross reference what I need, stressful & time consuming

2) Say sod it! and buy one pre-packed - expensive and probably missing something vital

3) Breathe and ask people (i.e. new mums) who know what I actually need.

The current list I have:

Before you go:

Do a supermarket shop before your due date so you have all the essentials.

If you can, make and freeze a few meals for when you come home.

As do not have a car, I could call a taxi. Alternatively, arrange for an ambulance to pick you up. 

Birthing Partner - A pillow, blanket, and change of clothes for your birthing partner in case s/he’s in for an overnight stay. Ask them to pack their own bag, one less thing for you to do.

 

Mum’s bag:

Labour: 

• Mobile Phone (with music & portable speakers) and charger 
• Address book (contained in mobile). Make sure you have hospital number (phone number and reference number) somewhere accessible!
• Watch with a second hand or digital timer to time contractions (if using mobile phone one or app, make sure you know how to use it. Practice beforehand). 
• Pen & paper (notes in mobile if forget or it has this capability, most do)
• Contact details for your partner/birthing partner 
• Birth plan and maternity notes, Picture ID, insurance card and any other hospital paperwork you might need. 
• Money in change / coins about £10 for parking, snacks, drinks {although check parking costs online, they’re bloody expensive!} 
• Books/magazines/games
• Nightie or pyjama’s (Choose an old nightie or long t-shirt for labour you'll feel comfy walking around the delivery room or ward in) 
• Cardigan or sweatshirt (you may feel chilly in strong labour) 
• Dressing gown - Hospitals can be very warm, so a lightweight one is better
• Slippers 
• Socks (you may feel chilly in strong labour) 
• Underwear - (7-10 pairs). Either disposable or old, cheap knickers. If your waters break, no matter where you are, you'll want a change of underwear to help make you feel more comfortable. 
• Hot water bottle, cool pack or Massage oil (unscented) for pain relief. 
• TENS pain relief machine, if you are planning to use one.
• Your own birth ball – although your hospital may provide them 
• Facial sponge, for dabbing and sucking on or water spray / fan. Keep a water spray in the fridge until you leave for hospital. It's great for gentle cool-downs during labour.  
• Drinks and sandwiches or snacks in a cool-bag with (for you and birth partner) to keep you well hydrated throughout labour. Pop a flexible ice pack in the cool-bag before you leave to keep the drinks cool. It can double as a cool-pack for your forehead whilst in labour. Take bendy straws too, they will make drinking easier if you are lying down. It is a good idea to take some food in case you feel hungry; you will need to keep your energy levels up. Bananas, cereal bars, and glucose tablets. 

   

After birth: 

• Birth announcement cards, pen (if you are staying in overnight) 
•  Your favourite treat - you deserve it! 
• A mini bottle of bubbly and some chocolates to celebrate 
• Antibacterial wipes or hand solution to help protect from bacteria 
•  Camera & memory card, extra batteries 
• Arnica tablets to help with bruising after the birth. Although there is no conclusive evidence that they work (NHS 2007), many women report that taking arnica helps reduce bruising and helps the healing process. 
• Nursing bra (at least two, as you can get sweaty in hospital and if your milk comes early, your bra may get wet). A well-fitting ordinary bra if not, just remember your breasts may be larger than usual. 
• Breast pads you’ll need these even if you don’t plan to breastfeed (to absorb leaks of colostrum and milk).
• Lansinoh lanolin cream for breastfeeding to aid sore or cracked nipples. 
• Maternity pads - for before the birth if your waters break, and for afterwards when you'll bleed quite heavily (24)
• Toiletries - pack a sponge bag with a:
  • Body cream
  • Cleanser, toner and moisturiser
  • Contact lenses and spare glasses (even if you wear contacts)
  • Deodorant
  • Ear plugs, in case you end up on a noisy ward!
  • Eye mask, If you have trouble sleeping with the lights on
  • Face wipes
  • Flannel
  • Hairbrush, a hair band or scrunchie to tie back your hair or keep it off your face
  • Lip balm (gas and air can make your lips very dry)
  • Make-up and remover
  • Medications (check suitable if breastfeeding)
  • Mirror
  • Shampoo
  • Shower gel
  • Soap
  • Tissues
  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
   
• Towels (preferably dark coloured so won’t get mixed up with hospital laundry). 
• Flip flops for the shower. The best hot shower you will ever take is after giving birth 
• Going home clothes - Bring something loose and easy to get into - preferably a selection from your maternity wardrobe - along with a pair of flat shoes. 
• Laundry bag for dirty clothes 
• Front opening nightdress or pyjamas for after the birth for easy breastfeeding (if you've made the breastfeeding decision) 
• Pillows - It is comforting. Just make sure you have a colourful cover on it to distinguish it from the hospitals. Also a v-shaped pillow (can help make baby feeding more comfortable)

Baby’s bag: 

• Sleepsuits / babygrows x 2 /3 - 6 
• Vests x 2/3 – 6 
• Scratch mittens 
• Hat 
• Socks – that can fit over babygro’s
• Going home outfit
  
• Outdoor clothes suitable for the time of year (cardigan, jacket, snowsuit) 
• Baby bottles - if you are bottle-feeding. Some maternity units may have sterilising equipment, so check with them and bring your own formula milk and sterilising equipment if needed
• Muslin squares 
• A pack of newborn nappies, nappy bags and nappy rash cream (if you're using terry towelling, include your own nappy pins) 
• Top and tail bowl (in case the hospital does not provide one - check with your midwife in advance)
• Cotton wool balls / unperfumed baby wipes / baby sponge - for bathing. 
• Hooded baby towels 
• Baby nail clippers 
• Colic drops may be useful as many newborns suffer
• Blankets 
• Pushchair or car seat - babies travelling home by car must be strapped into properly fitted car seats
• Soft toy suitable for newborns

How much of this is necessary? Anything I have forgotten? Or any extra nice to haves?  

Please leave me a comment if there is.

I am at hospital numerous times shortly, so I will check with them.

Pregnancy and Depression

Pregnancy and Depression are no longer new to me. Although this is my first pregnancy, after eight months, I am fairly used to it. As for depression, I don't know if I will ever be used to it, but it has been part of my life for the majority of it.

For the last few weeks I have been really struggling. Not with anything in particular, but all of it. Life in general. As usual, there was no defining moment, no spectacular single event, not major mishap, just an ever increasing feeling of shittiness. As always the feelings of low motivation and lack of interest escalate in to complete 'I don't give a crap, what's the point? what does it matter if I can't drag myself out of bed after another night of little or no sleep'. 

Last month I had discussed with my G.P. about increasing my meds again. I said No. I didn't want to. To be honest, I don't want to be taking them at all and doubt I will ever accept that I will have to for the rest of my life. During the last three years of so, I have been on numerous medications, anti depressants, combinations of pills and dosages.

I have never accepted the depression / mental health diagnosis fully, too often the diagnosis has changed and never been explained to me why. Besides once you are labelled with mental health issues, everything and I mean EVERYTHING becomes a consequence of that. 

You (are):

Not sleeping = side effect of mental health problems

Want to kill yourself = side effect of mental health problems

Gain weight = side effect of mental health problems

Lose weight = side effect of mental health problems

Get a cold = side effect of mental health problems

Feel stressed = side effect of mental health problems

Feel down = side effect of mental health problems

Get a headache = side effect of mental health problems

Get a stomach ache - see the pattern...?

When I fell pregnant I was at the lowest I'd been for a while, I had attempted suicide and really did not want to live. I wanted to just sleep. It wasn't the first attempt and I doubted it would be the last. I remember telling my CPN that although it may not have worked, at least I slept for 14 hours!

I knew I was pregnant within days and my mood flitted frequently between happy, scared, and full on What the F*ck?! As I have mentioned previously when I found out I stopped taking my medications, in conjunction with Drs' advice, gradually. I tried to cope without but as my head was all over, it wasn't a good idea. I thought of suicide again several times, but would not / could not bring myself to do that to my unborn child. Eventually, near the start of my second trimester, I went to see a pharmacist for information. She was great, gave me actual information, numbers, etc. but stopped short of over loading me with information. 

When I restarted on the medication, just one of them, I felt bad, but was assured by medical professionals that the risk to baby was less than if I relapsed, as according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists 'you may need a higher dose of medication if you become ill. Sometimes you may need two or more medications to treat a relapse. This might be more risky for your unborn baby than if you take a standard dose of medication throughout pregnancy.' Only one doctor actually said directly to me I was risking my baby's life. I told him bluntly, it was a lot less risky that me killing myself.

Finally, I started to feel human again, worthwhile. I actually thought about my future and not just the baby. Hell, I know it sounds selfish but what I wanted to do! I have never fully bought into the whole depression (etc.) thing, I often think it's a lazy diagnosis, especially seen as it's not my only one! The end of feeling rubbish and feeling better, was to me the ending of the couple of grotty years. A lot had happened, much of it very unpleasant, so naturally I was stressed. I spent years self medicating and managed to get through the years preceding it, so I would again. Maybe...

But recently my mood has dropped, seriously, again. Again seems to be a popular word around me, so perhaps I should have expected some form of crash.

At the beginning of this week, I was fast approaching breaking point and would have probably hit it face first at full force had it not been for some great people on Twitter keeping my sanity, reminding me I was normal! That's no mean feat!

I thought enough is enough. I was so stressed out I needed help. I don't know how much of stress / anxiety is normal for a first time mum, or whether I passed that a long time ago. It feels like the latter. I'm normally one of those people that once she finds something of interest, in this case pregnancy, I dive in head first finding everything I can about the subject. At the beginning of my pregnancy, knowing that this was probable, and possibly not healthy for me, I made a conscious decision not to do this. 

However, as I am in the 'High Risk' pregnancy category, I am being seen by both the hospital midwifes and the local midwifes. I am not seeing anyone consistently, so it's hard to develop a relationship with them. I have been reliant on the Internet, which presents its own problems. As I said I wasn't sure how much of my stress was normal, at least if I was around others in the same position (i.e. pregnant) it would help. I asked one of the midwifes for support, to be told she didn't know anything but maybe try the health visitor and the Mental Health in Pregnancy service. She also referred me to NSPCC. As she had no leaflets I wasn't sure what for! I have received a letter since to say it was for their Pregnancy, birth and beyond course, although I still have absolutely no idea what that is!

My CPN also called the health visitor service and was told I would be getting one appointed during this last week. I have not heard from them yet though.

F, who has kindly volunteered to be my birth partner, had mentioned Home Start to me a while ago. I didn't really know what they did, so read a couple of the posts on their site. I sent an email basically blurting out my current state of mind and begging for some help, or at least a point in the right direction. After a couple of emails, a lovely lady rang me to discuss coming to see me to see what type of help they could offer. She asked casually how I had heard of them, something they ask everyone. I said F had mentioned them to me, as she used to be a volunteer with them. As soon I mentioned her name, I could hear the smile on the lady's face. I knew I had made the right decision to contact them.

My psychiatrist also referred me to the Perinatal support service, so I am awaiting an appointment from them.

At my therapy appointment this week, I mentioned all this. He told me I was emotionally dysfunctional and that I needed to accept help, but also know when to ask for it. He is right obviously, but I couldn't help but think 'No shit, Sherlock'!

I have also increased the meds. I feel slightly better in that I have asked for help and seem to be getting things in place. Although I think 'surely, I shouldn't have needed to be in this state for someone to check I was coping?' But again, maybe that's just part of the I need to accept help, ask for it, and admit that I am not weak for wanting the help anyway. 

I would hope that there was some kind of service that signposted what help was available and where to find them. Given my 'diagnosis' and at risk category, surely they should be clear signposts? 

The NHS states:

If you have already suffered from mental illness in the past you're more likely to become ill again in the first year following the birth, even if you have been well for years. 

I would have loved one point of contact throughout my pregnancy, someone to answer my questions, I had to wait nearly a week for a call back from my midwife. I know that is not possible in the ever decreasing NHS but it would have been nice. Someone I could call and ask those silly random questions to. And believe me I have lots of silly random questions! I'm sure they are 'normal' (to the extent normal exists), but don't feel it to me. I don't have many female friends, especially not ones with children. And have little family, so am rather alone in this.

For anybody that does need help, I will post my sources when I find them, or are given them. My Angels (hey, it's Easter and a nod to religion is allowed) and me have found these so far:

Home Start

NHS Mental Health Services 

The Royal College of Psychiatrists

Gingerbread

National Childbirth Trust

Tommy's

Netmums

The Association for Postnatal Illness (APNI)

Family Action

Sure Start Children’s Centres

Samaritans 

08457 90 90 90; 

(Ireland): 1850 60 90 90; 

e-mail: jo@samaritans.org

Perinatal And Mental Health Unit
The Mount
44 Hyde Terrace
Leeds
LS2 9LN

Tel: 0113 305 5509 

Ask your local hospital as they will have a similar service. 

Dermatillomania

Dermatillomania is also commonly known as Compulsive Skin Picking. It involves an urge to pick at one's skin.Often the face, but also other areas such as the arms, shoulders, chest, stomach, legs, genital areas, and back.

Along with Trichotillomania, it is classed as an Impulse Control Disorder, along with intermittent explosive disorder, kleptomania, pathological gambling, and pyromania. Dependant on which current research you read it may or may not be an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). 

It can be a symptom of self harm, but not always. Again as with Trichotillomania it may be an automatic action. 

My personal issues started as a child, I remember the feelings of release associated with it. I used to pick at my arms and shoulders, areas I could keep covered. I progressed to other areas too. At its most extreme, usually for me (not for everyone) it is during times of great stress and anxiety. When my depression is bad, I pick more, often at my face. It can be an automated reaction. I can see 'something' that will start me off and I can lose myself in a trance like state for hours. Often not being aware of the time, until I have drawn blood several times. At other times, I am aware of what I am doing but cannot physically stop myself until I have 'satisfied' my need. I am no longer sure if I do it out of habit, or out of the need for the release. I mostly use my fingers, but have been known to use tweezers, needles, etc.

At it's worse, I will avoid people and places if my face is showing signs of picking, as this leads to greater stress and therefore, more picking. I have covered it with make up, long sleeves, etc. 

I often avoid mirrors for this reasons, (which during a bad episode of depression is not uncommon anyway!). Sufferers are often advised to arrange for someone supervise them using mirrors and tweezers, etc. but in reality that isn't often possible.  I am often late because I have been picking. It has a massive effect on my self esteem, which in turn creates its own problems.

I have had it dismissed by professionals I have asked for help as they do not think the marks, scars are sufficient to cause concern. My last CPN told me various times about how to treat pick sites to prevent infections. I have been lucky in that I have not had any infections as such, as some sufferers can end up with septicaemia. 

For more information and support visit the links below:

• Skin Pick - Has some free resources plus option to buy books
• Skin Deep - Harvard Medical School psychologist Dr. Ted Grossbart (download free ebook)
• Adult Skin Pickers - TLC-Moderated Email Groups
• I Have Dermatillomania - a closed Facebook group