Sad and lonely

My friend who has agreed to be my birthing partner has had a bad time recently and needs to attend to some family matters. I am grateful for all she has done, especially as she has a lot going on. However, it does mean she can't come to my first pregnancy scan with me.

I told my support worker and she offered to come. I told her I will be fine, I had better get used to doing things alone. It really makes me feel sad and alone, or rather it reminds me. If I can't get a friend to go with me, then I sure as hell aren't taking a mental health worker! 

I'm scared senseless to be honest, but I have got an appointment with a consultant after, so maybe able to get some helpful hints to deal with this bloody backache. 

I had a row with some silly worker at DWP. Again. Got so stressed I ended up throwing up. Several times. Went to clean it up, added a bit more. Ended up bleaching my carpet! Now the smell of bleach is making me feel sick. Yay! Great day.