Normal. Am I?

Am I normal? I mean to the extent any of us are normal.

My baby is due in just less than 6 weeks and I'm feeling fine, ok, calm about it.

The cot is up, the pram / pushchair system set up into pram mode (liner added, etc.), the first lot of baby clothes are washed and hanging ready in the wardrobe, hospital bags are packed (mine & baby) with lists ready of last minutes things to grab, checklists checked and double checked, appointments all booked in for next few weeks...

So what's missing?

The only thing I'm conscious of is my need to get some nursing bras, there's a post on that challenge coming up!

But I am not worrying about the labour or the birth. It wasn't something I even thought about until recently. Not because I was worried, but I generally just didn't think about it.

I have read quite a bit on labour and birth, pain relief, coping strategies, and even the what if it all goes tits up information in the last couple of weeks. I had an appointment today with an Obstetric Anaesthetist to see if I can have an epidural should I want or need one. I have been to my 1 three hour antenatal talk provided by the NHS to prepare me for childbirth. I have got an appointment at 36 weeks to discuss it all with a midwife.

I had a wobble a couple of weeks ago. Hormones, build up of stress, depression, whatever you want to call it. Not about the labour but about after, when the baby is here. As I've said before I have never really been around children younger than Seven. But I asked for help. I referred myself to Home Start and the Pregnancy Support midwife. The lady from Home Start was lovely. The Pregnancy Support midwife cannot fit me in for an appointment until two weeks after the expected birth.

My community midwife team referred me to the NSPCC for their new Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond course. This is a new course, currently with 4 mums to be in Leeds. I have only been to one class / group meeting so far but it was helpful as it is the first chance I have had to actually meet other pregnant ladies. This in itself is a great help at making me feel normal! I said one thing I am looking forward to (not the only one mind) is to actually go for a wee! Now that may sound odd, but I think most pregnant ladies will know how I feel. I have spent majority of the last six months worrying I wouldn't make it to the toilet every 30 seconds to be only rewarded with a drip!

I am stressed about housing, finances or rather lack of, my health, etc. but I'm not worrying about birth.

Is this normal? Will it hit me all of a sudden? Will I suddenly be a jibbering wreck in a couple of weeks?

Due to health problems I have not had a named midwife. I have being seeing LGI Antenatal Clinic as well as a midwife team based at my local children's centre. Maybe that's why I'm not panicking, as I have had great support from the hospital already?

The only thing I'm concerned about is that I haven't actually seen the delivery suites. Anxiety and stress are common for me, I can get panicky in new places, often hyperventilating just at the thought of getting there, so I really would like to visit it beforehand. Unfortunately the hospital no longer offer delivery suite tours, they did have an online version that I couldn't find, but that has since been taken down whilst website is redesigned.