Due to my history of depression, I was supposed to be monitored throughout my pregnancy as I was at risk of post natal depression. However, I felt very unsupported. I had lost both my parents, I had an intermittent relationship with my brother, and few friends. The only real support I had was from my (separated from) husband, who was not the baby's father, leading to me feeling even more emotional turmoil. Add to this my past tendencies to use alcohol and drugs to cope, along with a serious court case involving a family member which raked up feeling I had blocked away (with said abuses). Oh and the ongoing therapy, and it's safe to say I was in a right state!
I reached crisis point, somewhere around here, Depression, self harm, pregnancy and F*ck Ups
I reached crisis point, somewhere around here, Depression, self harm, pregnancy and F*ck Ups
I was admitted to The Mount Perinatal Mother & Baby Unit suffering severe depressive episode with self harm and OCD. I was thinking about ending my life, but the baby kept me going. Although there were times I sat and cried in shower, thinking about how to hurt or kill myself, but be found so baby could be saved / safe. I mean she'd be better off without me. I wanted my baby, but I didn't think I would cope, that I could ever do anything right. I was proof of that, I was a mess. I spent the last three months of my pregnancy there. Throughout that time, the staff were fantastic, friendly, helpful, and above all, not judgemental.
After the birth of my baby, I was transferred back from my local hospital to The Mount, where I continued to receive exceptional support, emotionally and practically. I was discharged when my baby was four weeks old. I don't think that I would have coped without them. I will be forever grateful to them for giving me that support I needed to become a mother.
I really do appreciate them all.
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