I am (will be?) a Groovy Mum!

I mentioned in my How to be a Groovy Mum blog post, that Kate @ Kate on Thin Ice had asked these questions of herself. 

I am going to use them to tell you a bit more about me and  what I am going to do to ensure I become a Groovy Mum once my first baby is here!

Have you ever felt one or more of the following …

1. You lack time to do your own thing
Although I am not working due to long term illness at the moment, I seem to be constantly doing things.
I am studying with the O.U.; trying to prepare for my first baby and all that entails; dealing with the never ending debacle that is the DWP;  having various appointments with medical / health professionals, etc. 
Where does the time go? 

2. You have forgotten what you like

Before my mental health deteriorated due to a serious amount of stress, I enjoyed lots of different things, including reading, writing, studying. Now I have no idea what I enjoy doing!

Unfortunately my low mood and lack of motivation, haven't helped either. 

3. You can’t quite remember who you are

I am currently see a therapist / psychologist and mentioned recently I do not feel like my personality is my me anymore, I have changed so much in the last 5 years, I don't even recognise the person I used to be.

He told me people often say they think their thoughts aren't theirs.

I replied telling him that I know mine are, that is the problem.

4. You feel frumpy, fat and/or old

I have always been overweight, but for the most part fit. I used to run and enjoyed it, but it is something I haven't done for quite a while now.

When I went to my first maternity appointment, the midwife told me I was very overweight (obese) and that I should not gain any weight in pregnancy. Fortunately, I had already requested to see a Dietitian, it helps to have someone on your side.

As I get further into this pregnancy, I feel huge. I ache, I waddle, I generally feel crap! 

5. You feel you never put yourself first

I don't have anyone else to put first, but I still neglect myself. 

6. Your energy and joie de vivre has gone 

My energy is seriously lacking. Pregnancy combined with depression, low mood & motivation, makes me really unproductive.

As you know from my post on sleeping problems, I suffer from insomnia so that hasn't helped. I kept been told that the first trimester of pregnancy was the worst as I would be constantly tired but it eases of by the second trimester of pregnancy. Unfortunately, it hasn't.

7. You are not sure what the future holds
I have no idea what my future holds. Some days that really bothers me, other days I don't care. 

All I do know is my first baby, a daughter, is due at the beginning of June. My pregnancy is not how I planned or wanted it, but it's giving me the chance to be a Mum and that is something I wasn't sure would ever happen.

I may be a single mum, but so what? Lots of mothers do. Mine included and I think I turned out okay (well most days). Besides it does mean I get all the love and cuddles *smiles*.

8. You feel powerless 
As mentioned above,  I have a lot going on at the moment, but I do feel that I am constantly plugging away at things and getting no where fast. DWP is a great example. Nearly a year for appeals, which I won (although horrible stressful!), but they managed to mess up the paperwork.

9. You feel isolated

I have lost contact with a lot of (so called) friends over recent years, this makes me sad, but not in the sense that I miss them, but because I am limited to people I interact with in real life. 

I have met some great people through Twitter and various parenting sites, but I would like to have a more active social life.

10. You sense something is missing

I sense a lot of things missing from my life. And it's far too short to list them all here.