Reasons to be Cheerful

For more information on what Reasons to Be Cheerful (#R2BC) is all about please check out this post from Michelle at Mummy from the Heart for a full description.

My reasons to be cheerful this week include:

• I posted a rant about how Daddy reacted to first time childcare after last Thursday's visit to the potential child minder, and I received some lovely messages of support.
• Lots of help and support was received from the lovely ladies at Give Mums A Break.
• I decided to use the child minder, she is lovely, Kiki seemed happy with her too :) 
• Although I had a really bad panic attack before I went, I had a great weekend at Plus North, a fashion event for all this plus size, with my closest friend.
  
  
• We met some amazing people at Plus North and the After Party, especially the Topsy Curvy girls! 
  
• Simply Be were kind enough to send me an outfit to review whilst there too. The dress was gorgeous.
  
  
• I actually enjoyed shopping whilst there! Bought three pairs of shoes for £5 a pair, bargain! 
  
  
  
  
  I also bought a skirt from Topsy Curvy.
• My friend also bought me a baby Pink Diamanté Skull Scarf from there too  
  
  
• Whilst in Manchester, I accidentally fell in to Swarovski and spent some pennies... I bought this N The Skull Pendant and Slake Fuchsia Ruby Bracelet, which is actually long enough to wear as a choker too. Now if I can only find someone to buy me the Happy Duck - Punk Duck  and N the Skull Docking Station....
• We went to Afternoon Tea at DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Manchester – Piccadilly too, although wasn't worth it, met some lovely ladies there too.
• I actually went to a Parent & Baby group today, first one since my post natal groups, nearly 12 months ago.

 How was your week? Tell me....

Sensory Play Bottle Craft

I've posted before about sensory play ideas, and about how much Pinterest has given me ideas.

I have made the bags from sandwich / freezer bags, gaffer taping the edges, but as Little Lady still likes to try and put things in her mouth, I was looking for a more resilient way.

Bottles! Yes, small pop bottles in my case. They are more solid, can be stood up, rolled, etc. And more importantly the lids can be glued on securely. I bought Asda's Cherryade in small 250ml bottles, as I thought chunky enough to hold, but small enough to pick up easily full.

I bought a selection of sequins at the Pound shop and some hair gel.

Two bottles, just have coloured sequins, homemade maracas!

 

One was filled with blue hair gel and beads, I ended up tipping some of the gel (and subsequently beads) as the gel was too thick, I added some water to get a bit of movement in the beads.

Three had a mixture of multicoloured beads and water. The blue has a drop of blue food dye.

The last two just have 2 colours of glitter mixed into the water.

Finally, I glued the screw tops on to the bottles.

First Time Child Care - Help?!

I feel I need to blog this out.

A couple of days ago, I posted the below message on the Let's Talk forum at Give Mums A Break:

Hello Ladies,

I am starting to look at childcare for my 15 month old. Daddy works shifts, so I'm with her all the time, barring an odd few nights when she stays with her grandma (my friend). I have no family to call on. As I suffer from depression and am trying to complete my degree online with the O.U. I need a break. Does that sound awful? I find that by the time Little Lady goes to bed the last thing I want to do is study.

So my questions are:

What type of childcare do I choose?

Did you find any benefits to child minder or nursery?

How did you find your childcare, assuming you use it?

What questions should I be asking?

Any other hints and tips?

Am I being selfish?

Tips for overcoming guilt?

Thanks Ladies

Nikki x

I received some helpful responses.

As part of this week's Reasons to be Cheerful, I mentioned I have an appointment with a child minder this evening, filled with trepidation, questions, and guilt, but that's because I am a good mother, right?!

So after going to meet her, tonight I added:

I just met with a child minder. She seems like a lovely, down to earth lady, Ofsted regulated, etc. She has a daughter just starting nursery and  a few other children she looks after.

Kiki liked her, immediately put arms out for a cuddle.

We spent about an hour and half with her, a lot of that was with her playing with Little Lady and telling us the routine etc.

So driving home I ask Daddy what he thinks.

Now bearing in my mind:

A) I need a break,

B) I have no time to study, I'm sorry I am not one of those wonder mums who can study when child is in bed. After 9pm and I'm no good for anything but mind numbing TV! Depression makes my concentration and memory shocking. I am going to fail my course at this rate as I haven't started revising, and still have an assignment due next week!

C) He says he will take her out on his days off, he says this every time we have this conversation but it never happens.

Why did I even bother?!

I feel guilty enough and I have told him this. After the post natal depression, he occasionally tells me I'm a good mum.

His response, 'I feel like leaving her with a stranger makes us bad parents!'

I mean FFS! I don't know what to do, I'm nearly in tears.

I really don't know what to do. I need help, I need a break, but I don't know what to do for the best. Am I being a bad mother? I feel like the devil incarnate tonight.
Help?

Reasons to be Cheerful

Hey guys, guess what? My first reason to be cheerful this week is? 

I am on time! Woo hoo!

For more information on what Reasons to Be Cheerful (#R2BC) is all about please check out this post from Michelle at Mummy from the Heart for a full description.

OK so on to this week's reasons to be cheerful:

1.  I have an appointment with a childminder this evening, filled with trepidation,questions, and guilt, but that's because I am a good mother, right?!
2. I'm excited to be involved in something new, Give Mums a Break, a new venture for mums, started by the lovely Kate. Check it out here: Give Mums A Break 
3. I posted on there about childcare and was given lots of advice and support. Nice people, check it out.
4. The lovely Kate also helped me this week with some PR information. I love that the blogging community is always willing to help out.
5. I actually managed to do some crafting this week. I made my friend's birthday card, I think it's cute. What do you think? 
   
   
   
   
6.  I don't get involved with Wobbles Wednesday, #WobbleWednesday  but thinking I should perhaps as my actual Slimming World weigh in is a Wednesday! lol So this marks my first foray in to Wobbliness, although I've been wobbly for many years :)
7. And obviously following that reason to be cheerful, I should tell you my major reason this week... At my Slimming World weigh in, I have lost 6lbs this week! Woo hoo! That's 11lbs in 2 weeks. I was also Slimmer of the Week. I know it's still early days, and I am exercising too, but I know the weight loss will slow and I won't get such great results each week, and there is obviously a long way to go, but go me! I'm proud of myself. And that, my friends, doesn't happen often! 
   
   
   
   

So over to you, what do you have to smile about this week.
Oh incidentally on smile, Wendy at Handmade Harbour is now running weekly papercraft link party and giveaways, this week's theme is smile.
 

Mothers doing it wrong. Again!

Mothers are getting it wrong. We are putting our children before our husbands. How bloody dare we?!

At 11:00 today, ITV's This Morning had a debate with Andrew G Marshall, a marital therapist and author, who has written a book about putting your partner first.

In his book, I Love You But You Always Put Me Last, he offers suggestions to strengthening your relationship with your partner, (wife or husband) and making sure that you put them first, for example, greeting your wife first when you get home, children second, or by putting a lock on your bedroom door.

Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby both challenged him over his ideas. Firstly, he doesn't have children and secondly, that a partner often becomes more attractive because of the way they put the children first, by being a good dad / mum. 

Who should you put first, partner or child? Only 16% of respondents to the poll on This Morning said partner first, 84% saying children.

These are Marshall's The 10 Golden Rules:

1 Don't neglect your marriage: it is the glue that keeps the family together.

2 Being a parent and a perfectionist don't sit easily together. Instead, aim for good enough.

3 The main job of a parent is to take your children's feelings seriously, but this doesn't mean giving in to every whim, rather explaining why something is not possible or sensible.

4 Happy relationships need good communication skills as well as love and connection.

5 In disputes about how to raise your children, there are no right or wrong answers. Listen to each other, be assertive and negotiate.

6 Don't draw children into adult issues or let them take sides.

7 Encourage your children to be self-sufficient and don't become their servant. In this way, you will have more time to invest in your relationship.

8 You need to feel loved by your partner and not just a service provider. To this end it is important to be romantic, have fun together and make sex a priority.

9 When there's a problem, try not to label your partner or the children as the cause: look at your own contribution.

10 If something is good enough for your children, it is probably good enough for your partner, too.

These are taken from an interview published on the Guardian website here.

Now, obviously, I haven't read the book, but there are a lot of people agreeing and disagreeing with Andrew G Marshall online and in social media. 

But my main thought is 'for G-d's sake, why can't mums get a break, do we need more guilt?'

I appreciate that yes, in most cases children wouldn't be there if if wasn't for your partner, and yes you need a balance, but how many us feel like we are already putting so much effort in to trying to find that balance?

Me & Daddy have struggled being a couple since Little Lady arrived, but even though I'm stressed and need a break at times, my child will always come first.

I haven't got any more space in my head or heart for guilt about my partner not being first. Am I looking at this wrong? Should I be rejecting that guilt and thinking that a happy marriage will bring happy children?

What do you think? Do you agree with Mr Marshall?

Blogging Every Day in August: Something Beautiful (Day 11)

Sarah at Yummy Mummy In Training has set herself a challenge of blogging every day in August and has listed her prompts. As my blogging is a bit hit and miss at the moment, I will be using her prompts to generate some ideas too. 

Today's prompt is: Something Beautiful 

Bet you can't guess what that made me think of?! Ha!
Of course, my daughter. Yes, obviously I am biased but I think she is beautiful. 

I have told her everyday since she was born that she is beautiful and clever. I don't just mean in the looks sense either.

But am I setting her up for self esteem issues in later life, as has been suggested recently? Or can we just take things in perspective and realise each and everyone of us is beautiful?

Yes, that does include you. And me! 

 

I found this on Pinterest recently and love it, I can't find a source to credit, do let me know if you know who it is.

Proud Mummy

Today, for the very first time, my Little Lady pulled herself up into a standing position. 

She has been standing whilst we held her for a while, but this was the first time that she did it by herself. 

I'm such a proud mummy! 

Saving money - mum's method

I was watching Martin Lewis's show on Tuesday and he mentioned the downshift challenge. If you're already a fan of moneysavingexpert then you'll no doubt have heard of this. Basically, you drop down a level at the supermarket:

1) Premium (Finest, best)

2) Brands own (Kellogg's, Bisto)

3) supermarkets own brand

4) supermarket value

Martin suggests by doing this you could save £1000's, full details here. He does say also there maybe things you prefer buying at the next level up. His point is that you buy with your wallet, not your head. How many times have you thought x is better because a) you know the brand or b) it's a named brand?

He has done various tests and often people can't tell or prefer cheaper brands. I personally prefer cheap supermarket cola, for example, I think Pepsi & Coca Cola taste like syrup, but it is down to personal preference. If you don't like, say value beans, you move up a level on that item each week.

There's a thread on moneysavingexpert.com about the best and worst from each label.

I tweeted @MartinSLewis during the show when he mentioned the downshift challenge and said what about if you have to buy savers range anyway. The response was 'little we can do on that'.

Now I think he missed a good marketing point here.

Yes, I know he sold moneysavingexpert but it is a mine of useful info. How about a link to:

Benefits check up

Slow cooking

Old Style Money Saving

For me the easiest way to save money, plan meals in advance, yes it sounds like school, Tuesday we have fish, Wednesday meatballs but you can buy what you need with no waste.

I debated writing all meals down on paper and tombola style picking them out, eccentric but fun, well for me.

Another great point, again a MSE board supermarket reductions here and here. Find out when & where, and how your local supermarket reduce stock, insider knowledge.

Also use your local market / farm shop / butchers. They will tell you what is in season, how to prepare and cook.

If you can't cook, now is the time to learn. There are ways for almost everyone:

• Cooking class (adult education centre / Jamie's ministry of food), apps, 
• good old fashioned books (library, ebay, charity) online (good recipes and usually helpful hints and tips from people actually using the recipe),
• experimenting (cooking isn't baking, throw what you want in, weights & measures don't really count, just a bit of sense! And I say this with a lot of end of the month meals coming from less than a carrier on Ready, Steady, Cook!)
• Asking an elderly / lonely neighbour or family member, many family recipes are lost. You'll learn a new skill and (hopefully) they'll enjoy the company. Offer something in return and make them happy too, your first cake, Christmas lunch, first meal of new year. My neighbour, although elderly has a better social calendar than me, so what about some DIY / window cleaning.

Kate (on Thin Ice) mentioned some great ideas on her How to save money at Christmas post.

How about merging the Christmas presents and money saving one? Only things you make? Now this can turn into a nightmare if you're not careful. I tried a homemade Christmas last year, everyone got food gifts, but I made most into a hamper and costs got way out of hand.

• Fudge is easy to make and can be flavoured with different things easily.
• Gingerbread men? The perfect man? You can bake some for friends, attach a poem. Done.
• Snowman poop? Reindeer poop? Reindeer food? Get the kiddos involved, the love and fun is the point of Christmas. Yes, I'd love a xyz but its not something I can bask in the warm glow of, well unless it's the SMEG fire I want!

As with cooking, if you can't sew, learn! The Internet is full of free sewing patterns as are libraries. Buy old clothes and take them apart for the fabric. Not only will you have one offs but you'll see and learn how they were constructed. Again remember that lovely lady two doors down? Ask her if she sews and could teach you. An hour a week, for a meal, a cup of tea, history transcribed for next generations, her floors mopped, whatever.

A final thought, have you checked if you could get a better deal on broadband packages?

Please leave me a comment with any other ideas you have.

Baby Bibs

My little one has been teething for what feels like months now. She is constantly trying to put thing in her mouth to bite on, see previous post about MAM teethers for smaller babies. As well as this, she is a seriously drooly baby! I not overly concerned, I wipe her face often & have cream to add if any redness appears but as any parent knows, drooly baby = soaking wet tops, several changes a day. As if babies don't need changing often enough!

I have been looking at bibs I could leave on, but the either look like she's about to eat or are expensive. I mean seriously £5 for a bib? So I turned to the Internet. I looked for patterns for the bandanna style bibs. The first one I tried was shaped, supposedly to look like it was draped, but I didn't like it.

My next attempt was to use some of the FQ's (fat quarters) of material I bought for making bunting for the nursery, which to be honest I had no chance of making whilst ill and suffering from serious case of CBA syndrome.

I cut the material (2 different fabrics, 1 of the tattoo inspired one and 1 of the Jolly Roger one) in to 14" inch squares and the in half diagonally.

  

I picked up a plain white bath towel in a charity shop to use a backing, hoping it will hold a large puddle. I cut two 14" squares and again cut diagonally.

With the right side of the material facing each other, wrong side up, I machine sewed a seam approximately 1/4 inch in all around, barring a small gap in one of the straights. Not the corner, made that mistake with first prototype, very difficult to turn right way.

Turn material right way out, poking corners out with scissors, knitting needle, etc. 

Sew again on right side (if wanted).

Sew Velcro tabs to either side of points.
I should point out that I made a small error here, I actually picked up the wrong velco, I bought self adhesive stuff. As it wasn't strong enough to remain in place, I atempted to stitch edges. It ruins needles quickly and clogs machine. 
Don't do it! 

And viola. One cute dribble bib.
 

Add to child!